In Situ – Manly – Australia
K : So what do you do?
Yarks : I’m an artist, a painter.
K : Oh really? What kind of stuff do you paint? Is that abstract or…?
Yarks : Not really. I’m painting people
K : … Really? Like portraits?
Yarks : Nude, actually …
K : … Oh, I see.
Yarks : Haha, don’t look at me like that…
K : No, I mean, well, haha … so naked people, huh?
Yarks : Yes
K : And do you have a model or something?
Yarks : Kind of…
K : What do you mean?
Yarks : I have muses.
K : Muses …?
Yarks : … Do you know what a muse is?
K : I know the band.
Yarks : Haha … Muses are people who inspire artists.
K : Oh, ok. And where do you find them?
Yarks : Everywhere, actually, they are normal people.
K : So what’s the difference? How do they inspire you more than other people?
Yarks : It’s like falling in love with someone you just met
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In Situ – Manly – Australia
Bartender : How can I help you guys?
C : I’ll have a Boags.
Yarks : Absinthe for me.
C : Haha, you’re such a stereotype!!!
Yarks : …
C : What’s this absinthe stuff about?
Yarks : Have you tried?
C : A couple of times. It’s disgusting.
Yarks : I kind of like it.
C : Is that just for your “artist” image?
Yarks : Probably a little bit but there is something about absinthe…
C : ?
Yarks : It’s a brain warming.
C : Haha, yeah right.
Yarks : It is It’s the cocaine of alcohol. It doesn’t make you drunk as other spirits. It makes you conscious.
C : Haha, bullshit!
Yarks : Oh… And It makes you have the sweetest dreams
C : Last time I tried I had the worst hangover.
Yarks : Last time I did, it makes me breathe sounds and hear colours.
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A guy just asked me to answer some questions on his website whohub.com.
So here’s a copy of the interview :

Whohub : What do you do? How do you define yourself as an artist?
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Steyne – Manly – Australia
Random Guy : … That’s nice!
Yarks : Thanks.
R D : Is that the girl with the red dress?
Yarks : Yes, it is.
R D : Does she know that you’re drawing her?
Yarks : I don’t think so.
R D : Will you give it to her afterwards?
Yarks : It depend. If she notice that I’m drawing her, I will.
R D : Haha … Do you write your phone number on the back?
Yarks : Not anymore.
R D : Haha…You should. That’s the best pick-up routine ever. Did you manage to get any girls like this?
Yarks : Hmm… some.
R D : I wish I could do that. Sitting in a club, drawing the nice girls, and give it to them with my phone number at the back.
Yarks : It doesn’t really work that way.
R D : uh?
Yarks : She’ll just think you’re a weirdo.
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Shore Club – Manly – Australia
Yarks : It’s just that sometimes I regret that I am improving slower than I am dying
L: Haha, that’s it. You’re drunk.
Yarks : Haha, probably.
L : I love talking with you when you’re like this.
Yarks : Don’t tell me your shit about “being yourself when you’re drunk”.
L : Haha. Nothing like this. I just think you are much more clever when you are drunk.
Yarks : Bastard!! It’s just that I’m more talkative.
L : Haha! Yeah sure. :p
Yarks : …
L: You know, we should have a book to report our drunk conversation.
Yarks : We should. We’ll name it “The drunk book”.
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This post contains some suggestive dialogue that parents may find unsuitable for children under 14 years of age.

C  : Van Gogh?
Yarks : insane
C: Picasso?
Yarks : freak
C : Modigliani?
Yarks : lunatic
C : Dali?
Yarks : opportunist
C : Pollock?
Yarks : Wizard
C : Duchamp?
Yarks : yeah … ok … no comment
C : Hirst?
Yarks : Brain masturbation, as the one before
C : haha, you’ll have to explain that one
Yarks : haha, ok. It’s something like this :
hmmm … ah … hmmm  …. yes … can you feel my big intelligence hey? …  hmm … yes … hmm … you like it when you don’t understand …  hmm … yeah say it … yeah say it bitch … oh … oh … sorry … i spurted out …
C : haha … I think i get it
Yarks :

PS : Sorry Damien. I still love your “For the love of God”.
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Bitter End – Paris – End of winter.
F : I’m worried about you. When was the last time you sat in front of your easel and painted something new?
Yarks : I don’t know really. A couple of months maybe. Nothing inspiring. Paris was sleeping this winter.
F : You really need to meet someone… to find a new muse.
Yarks : Yeah… I guess… but …
F : Listen, there is this girl…
Yarks : Oh please! Don’t.
F : Please, listen… There is this girl. You should meet her. There is something special about her. The kind of things you like.
Yarks : Haha… Special, huh?
F : I should not do this… She’s way too young for you and I know you so well. She’s a pure diamond, beautifully innocent. You’ll destroy her.
Yarks : Come on. They destroy themselves. I’m not doing anything. Go ahead. Who is she? I’m curious now.
F : Elle s’appelle L.

A couple of weeks later. Same place.
F : She should be here soon.
Yarks : Who should be here soon?
F : L. I asked her to come for a drink after work. I’ll just introduce her to you. You meet her. You draw her. You paint her. Nothing else, ok? I don’t want you to … Are you listening?
Yarks : Not really.
F : Show me. What are you drawing?
Yarks : The girl, over there
F : smile… I knew you’d like her … but please … don’t.
Yarks : It’s too late
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Manly – Australia
Mr F : WTF is that?
Yarks : I guess it’s a mannequin
Mr F : Can you tell me why there is a mannequin in our garden?
Yarks : It’s for my bedroom. I’m painting it in green. She’s beautiful isn’t she?
Mr F : It’s weird, don’t you think.
Yarks : Just because she’s green?
Mr F : Green is ok. But why do you want to put a mannequin in your bedroom?
Yarks : She’s my new hat holder.
Mr F : …
Yarks : Her name is Alice … Alice in green
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Studio – Paris – France
C : What are you doing?
Yarks : I’m painting
C : What are you painting?
Yarks : An ex-girlfriend
C : You’re always painting your exes. Don’t you want to paint something else? You could paint me.
Yarks : Why for?
C : Cause I’m here with you.
Yarks : Painting is something special, it’s about love.
C : You draw me, you should be able to paint me.
Yarks : Drawing is about seduction. It’s different.
C : -smile- So… you like me but you don’t love me, and that’s the reason why I’ll not have my painting?
Yarks : Kind of.
C : Is that irrevocable?
Yarks : Nothing is irrevocable.
C : haha, you’re an open book. I know exactly what you want.
Yarks : Oh really? And what do I want?
C : You want me.
Yarks : I’ve got you already.
C : -smile- Paint me …
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Valentine’s day – Ristorante ai due Vescovi – Venice – Italy
Xtasie : Anyway, I don’t want you to sell my paintings.
Yarks : They are not your paintings.
Xtasie : Don’t bullshit me. I don’t want someone to have a nude painting of me in his living room.
Yarks :  Right. So I need to paint someone else.
Xtasie : I don’t want you to paint someone else.
Yarks : So what? I’m a painter. I’m supposed to sell my paintings. And you are my muse.
Xtasie : Why does it always have to be so difficult with you? I’ll buy them, you’re happy?
Yarks : Great… Let’s go. I’m not hungry anymore.
Xtasie : But…
Yarks : I’ll wait outside.
Xtasie : …

20 minutes later. Hotel Royal San Marco
Yarks : You should open the door.
Xtasie : Why?
Yarks : It’s a surprise. Don’t ruin it.
Xtasie : …
Xtasie : -smile- Champagne? Roses?
Yarks : -smile- Let’s get drunk
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